People-pleasing will lead you to do things you wouldn't normally do to keep others from thinking, saying, or doing something you don't like.
You see, people-pleasing is a form of control. We're trying to control others' emotions, opinions, and choices by doing everything they want.
You might say, "But I'm not trying to control anyone!" You might even argue to the death for this belief.
The fact is: People-pleasing is "people misleading" and "people controlling." Plain and simple.
We believe that if we do what everyone wants us to do, we will be safe because of how we manage (i.e., control) their emotions, thoughts, and feelings.
And this is the problem: It's impossible to do what everyone wants. It's impossible to please everyone.
I would go on a limb to say that people-pleasing. Simultaneously, it comes from wanting to do the right thing is one of the most hurtful things a person can do towards other people.
We have to be people who do what we want, regardless of what anyone else thinks.
Sacrificing your authentic self to please other people is unhealthy and unloving to those around you.
The best thing you can learn to do is be 100% authentically yourself in every area of life, including your marketing and sales process.
You see, if you being authentic means you lose a sale: GOOD! I'm glad. That's a good thing. You don't want people working with you who don't resonate with your true self.
You don't even have to turn much business down this way because your authentic nature will repel people from you.
You see, this is about being a powerful person.
None of us are powerless to other people's feelings or opinions about us. None of us are controlled by what people think about us. This is the belief paradigm that will change everything for you.
See, if you think that other people's thoughts, emotions, opinions, and choices are something you should manage, that means that they have power over you.
This often happens from a life of experiences that tells us that we have to please others to be safe. That we have to do whatever someone says and follow all the rules to be safe.
It's not your job to make other people happy. It's not your job to manage how they think, feel, or act.
Your job is to be authentically yourself, regardless of what they think.
Is this an excuse to be a jerk? Is this a license to hurt people? NO!
Whenever this conversation comes up, that's usually the extreme people point out, "Well, If I weren't pleasing people, then I would be hurting them."
It's true; some of our most authentic best actions may hurt people. If they hurt people, and you know inside yourself that you did the right thing, that's not your responsibility to manage.
This is why working through our inner issues, healing, getting some therapy, and working through what holds us back is so important!
It's not your job to manage the feelings of other people. It's not your job to "caretake" their emotions.
Is caretaking wrong? No! We should take care of each other in the community. But not to the point that we step into trying to control others.
And this here is the root issue of people-pleasing: wanting to do everything right. Said another way, wanting to make sure that we are correct, and other people can't know that we are wrong.
It's rooted in pride and ego. A belief that we are doing everything right so that no one can ever say anything corrective or wrong to us.
When someone then does correct us, depending on who they are or what is said, we get upset. You might be getting upset at me right now reading this! That's ok. Years ago, that would've bothered me. Now, it's not my job to manage your emotions.
Does this come from trauma? Yes, most often. Can it be stopped? Yes. Should it be? Absolutely!
When you stop people-pleasing, your entire life opens up for you. You're able to flow in your most fabulous self. It becomes effortless to be whom you've always wanted to be.
It's not your job to manage what other people think about you. Let's all commit to ending people-pleasing in our lives!