For you to get a different result in your life, you have to be willing to learn something new!
So often, I find people are looking for a mentor or coach to validate that they are on the right track.
This becomes very counter-intuitive and co-dependent on the coach continuing to either affirm or correct what’s true or not.
For us to grow to the next level, we have to be willing to learn something we’ve not done before, and even tear down the shaky foundations of our life that we’ve had up to this moment in time.
One of the biggest things I’ve seen people struggle with reaching their goals is looking up to others for approval and validation that what they are doing is “ok” and right.
Then, double whammy, they never make themselves vulnerable enough to learn something new – and ask questions because of fear of realizing that they didn’t have it all together in the first place!
So we stay stuck in this delusion of “I will be ok when” and “One day I will reach a place where” – while we continuously rely on other people to give us the power to go after our dreams.
We’re looking for others to be the catalyst for us to reach our goals.
The fact is this will never work. Me saying that right now may be offensive to the delusion that some people believe because what else could be the case?
You have to take responsibility for yourself for your choices. Discipline yourself to do the things that you want to do, without ever needing anyone else to hold you accountable!
It’s time we stop looking to others to validate that we are on the right track, and we start just moving the path forward on our own.
And now we come face to face with our fears: judgment, not fitting in, punishment, getting in trouble, criticism.
We have to be ok with criticism to go after our goals and move forward in the face of it!
Stop allowing critics to disempower you from going after your dreams!
You have to believe in yourself enough to do the thing that’s inside you!
You have to set up a filter of what you take in, and sometimes shutting down voices that are not benefiting you!
These could even be voices of your past, family members, friends, people who you’ve respected before, and they have your best interest in mind – BUT – because they have to also come to grips with the responsibility in themselves for why they are where they are – you can no longer allow them to dictate your choices or direct your path.
Now, this becomes very lonely for a second because we are left with the shell of who we’ve been in our lives, and the future that we are becoming.
As soon as you leave the past behind and stop trying to resurrect the old ways of being, you will be able to reach your goals so much faster.
You will attract the friends, the help, the mentors, the leaders, the resources that you need to reach your goals!
You will start to notice by turning your reticular activating system on that you were headed in the right direction all along.
The truth is this: We don’t need other people to change for us to reach our goals. We don’t need even to get anyone to agree with us to achieve our goals.
We have to give up the need to try to control everything around us, the messages, the people, the influence – and learn to control ourselves: what we are letting in.
This is knowing when to ignore things, and when to pay attention. This is not letting everything that comes at you distract you. This is being focused on where you are going – by being PRESENT at this moment in time to trust the process and know that you are on the right path.
If any doubt creeps in, we often rely on going to others to tell us if we’re on the right path or not, and there’ a time a place for this, but you need to make your circle small that you take input from — less than 3-4 people.
You can have a relationship with many others, but not to the point where you let them influence the direction you are headed!
Choose wisely the voices you listen to – and believe in yourself to know that the path you are on is the best path for you.
When new information comes along, it’s ok to change your choices and change directions. Eventually, we reach a crossroads: where we can decide to circle the same mountain again or move in the course of our destiny.
If you’re someone who’s at that crossroads, or maybe you don’t know what direction to go, that’s what this group is for, the grow your life podcast. To help point you in the direction that will help you reach your goals in the fastest possible manner, without sacrificing your integrity, your family, your health, or your relationships!
Sometimes there’s time to set boundaries. We have to learn to say “no” when we mean “no’ and “yes” when we mean “yes” and not let the fear of what other people might do keep us stuck, living a life that is opposite of what we were both made to do – and desire to live.
When we align our lives with the divine call of God on our experience, there’s a convergence that happens where our desires and God’s desires are the same.
Then we reach a place where we can ask God, “Direct my footsteps.” We know the voice of God in our life because we are attuned to hearing it! We can trust that what he says is true and right!
Then it comes to having wise counsel around you. Sometimes there’s wise counsel for one season that is no longer wise council for another season. We have to learn to let the old stay where it is in the past and keep moving forward toward our destiny!
No one is keeping you from your goals but yourself. No one has the power to do so, but you.
It’s time for you to pick yourself up and start walking forward without looking back – one foot in front of the other!
What’s the right choice to make? Ask questions! Start asking people that you can trust. When you get differences of opinion, consider the source of where you’re getting your answers from and then ask yourself, “Is this going to serve me towards my goals or hinder me.”
Pay attention to the voices that you’re listening to. Are these people who’ve been there before and gotten the results that I desire, or are they just repeating something that sounds good and tickles my ears?
Then learn to trust yourself. Keep the promises that you make to yourself. Have a track record with yourself to reach your goals. There’s nothing terrible about trusting your instincts. You can trust yourself.
This will be the only way for you to go to the next level, and start making the decisions that will have a lasting impact on your life!